


Not in Despair

by bluestbluetoeverblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Prayer, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28017285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestbluetoeverblue/pseuds/bluestbluetoeverblue
Summary: After Cas is taken, after Dean stands up, after the shock wears off, Dean prays.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Not in Despair

Words spoken by a broken man, forced to put himself back together again:

  
  


_ Cas— _

_ I didn’t know. _

_ That you felt that way, that you even could. How was I supposed to think you could ever feel like that about me? _

_ I don’t know if you can even hear me anymore, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I messed everything up again. If I had just— _

_ I’m trying. To do right by you and...the person you see in me.  _

_ I used to think no one in my entire life has ever really known me, but you did. You with your cosmic power and that fucking voice, you knew me from the beginning, didn’t you? _

_ You aren’t even human, and I used to think that that mattered, but the truth is I’m not a real person either. Never felt like one at least. And you thought you weren’t human enough for us or angel enough for the rest of them, and I know how that feels. I know who you are too, is what I’m saying, I guess. I used to be afraid of you—maybe I still am—but I know you. _

_ What I’m saying is that you can have it. And I don’t care how long it takes. I’m coming. _

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little drabble I felt compelled to write. Hope y'all enjoy it.
> 
> Thanks for reading! [Buy me a coffee if you enjoyed it?](https://ko-fi.com/bluestbluetoeverblue#achievementUnlockedModal) xoxo


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